WRITTEN BY JEROME YAOVI ONIPEDE (First Posted in 2005)

Q: What should spouses who are virgins keep in mind before having sex, and maybe not just sex, but a pain-free and memorable experience for both. I believe this will help ease anxiety and improve pleasure. Thanks. Abdulateef.

A: Dear Abdulateef, I am impressed you have remained virgins till your wedding day. You must probably come from a Family with very strong core-values, or have personalities with strong traditional backgrounds. Whatever it is, I congratulate you.

Let’s get first things right about sex. Sex is from God, it is holy and sacred. It is the sweetest form of the expression of love to your Spouse, and the Almighty God from whose Hands sex has come, takes absolute delight to have Married Couples express their love to each other through sex, so it is not a thing to be ashamed about. As a matter of fact, after your first night together, your parents should be able to call to find out if both of you had a great time and take pleasure knowing that you did.

During your attraction to your spouse, physical attributes play a unique role. You must have loved his face, shoulders, height, up to his toenails at times without even being conscious of it. It may be her smiles, hips, lips, length of legs, breasts, buttocks, etc. There was just something about her/him that made you feel like “I have to meet this guy/girl”. Then you met, and realized she was good company because she spoke about things that were of great interest to you, he was so caring and sensitive that you spent the whole day with him which is quite unusual for someone like you that is time conscious. Suddenly everything started to add up, and you just didn’t want to let go neither did he or she, and all this while you never had sex, but stayed with each other, because you wanted something more than sex! You wanted EACH OTHER, and every beautiful thing that comes with being together that makes BEING TOGETHER LAST FOREVER!

Suddenly it’s your Wedding day, and you know what awaits you after all the guests are gone. Should you have them put under your pillow a book that tells you what to do stage by stage, or wear an ear-piece that has someone on the side telling you what to do, you ask yourself? I don’t believe you need all that. When that time comes, your physiology will respond. God is so perfect in creation that Adam and Eve didn’t need anyone to tell them what to do. They didn’t need to watch a Pornographic Movie either. What’s in his or her body will call unto what’s in your body once there is an attraction, that’s the way God made it. Once you put yourself in that situation, it will happen.

Let me make it clear to you here now that unlike contrary views out there, a woman wants to have sex as much as a man wants to too. A woman who is very comfortable with you will express her need for sex as many times as possible which may come as a shock to you, if you have been brought up to believe that men want sex more than women, so be ready, be very ready.

Now that you know your physiology will call out to each other, does that mean you then have to jump on each other like barbarians? Nope, this is the point you now want to make the sexual experience a moment that will make you come for more, and with the same person, because if you can get it right with only one person, that is all you are going to need for the rest of your life, trust me, trust God who made it that way.

Remember she is a Virgin, and still has that fantastic covering over her Virgina called the hymen. As a man, you have to love that covering, you have to be fascinated by it, you have to cherish it because it has covered and protected your woman’s virgina which she is now offering to you as a token of her love tonight. That hymen guarded the virgina, made your wife conscious all this while that it was there for a purpose to make her offer her virgina to you on your wedding day with value. It makes the virgina expensive and not cheap, and as a man, you need to love it, cherish it, and be grateful for it, because it has done a good job.

Now if you see it that way, you don’t have to break it, it will tear up for you as you bring in your wonderful penis, because the hymen knows that its job has been done, and it is not a traitor coming inside of its Madam, but the man who owns her entire body of which the virgina is just a part of it. Most men see the hymen as something to break up in order to make love to their virgin wives and see it as a job to be done, and for them, that is not funny at all, and so you see they can be reckless when it comes to that point and cause so much pain, which tells you attitude is everything.

Now let’s get practical: During your wedding ceremony whisper sweet somethings to her ears, tell her you want to take off her dress, smell her entire body, kiss her neck, and put your mouth on her breasts, and suck it in the way it will bring her pleasure. Let her know you will like to put your clean fingers on her clitoris and watch her go into the fourth dimension where she can begin to call forth those things that are not as though they are and watch them come to pass. Tell her her hymen deserved to be kissed over and over for doing a great job. Now as you do this, she gets very wet, very very wet, and pours out so much juice from her virgina. Note that while this is going on, her hymen starts to become very soft, so soft that by the time you are ready for penetration later in the day it tears at your gentle approach and gives way for your shapely and beautifully looking strong penis. The hymen is alive, it knows a predator when it sees one, and knows a friend as well.

Don’t cram the things I have written here and recite it like a nuisance, let your imagination loose, it’s your wife, it is not a sin, it is honourable. Now when the time comes for action, don’t start shaking like a cat that fell into the water, you must remember God is with you, and you have all His support tonight, never have you had grace for anything than tonight. You are not only going to give her pleasure, but also receive pleasure. The body of a woman has been designed by God in such a way that no other beauty in this world can be equal to it, that’s why for a man, his world can stop when he is attracted to a woman.

I want to believe the room has been set for this love moment. It’s cool, the lighting is appropriate, it has space, ventilation is free, it smells right, and the background music calms your nerves. Now don’t pretend you are there to study mathematics, it’s a night of lovemaking, and you have waited for it all your life. Stare at each other, don’t be shy, if one person is trying to take away the eyes off the other, let the other bring it back. Tell your man you feel safe with him if you do. Let him know he will be your first love, and that you adore him. While she is talking to you, don’t wait for her to finish talking, it is not a script. If you are not close to her, go and hold her and kiss her lips with yours, as you do that, your mouths will begin to open up to each other, feel free, don’t bite, let your mouth explore the other’s mouth. Make sure you have been to the dentist to have a mouth wash, so you are not afraid of bad breath. Things will naturally run its course, and you can skillfully guide it, remember she wants her breasts sucked, and she will always remember you in her prayers if you do a good job that night, feel free to ask her if she likes it. She will have you unzipped by now and if she doesn’t because your tailor did a bad job, tear the trouser open, as she touches your lovely penis, don’t be dumb, let the sound of pleasure come out of your mouth, let her know you like it because when she knows, she will work more on that penis with her magical fingers, and feel free to say “oh God” if that’s what comes to your mouth at this time because God is with you in all this and blessing the moment too.

You may not need to have had all your clothes off, and you may if that’s what you want, but most importantly your penis is so strong now, and she can’t wait to have your full strength in her. Take your penis and play around her virgina, if you have gone all the steps I have told you now, I can bet that she is wet and so wet that the meeting of the penis and the virgina is of great pleasure, set it on the hymen, and if it’s not there, she will help you. And you O Woman, open up your legs as wide as you can. Now that the head of the lovely penis is there on her hymen covering her virgina, gently trust while you are either sucking her breasts or kissing her lips, and you will be surprised that the hymen would have given way faster than you imagined because you will just discover that you are going in deeper and faster than you anticipated, just continue my friend for you have done a great job, and you are having sex with your wife for the very first time, both of you are actually MAKING LOVE.!

Remember to be sensitive to her all the time. If you find her get to a point where she begins to shout oh my God, oh my God, and maybe her body trembles, please don’t be afraid and jump up, she is not dying, she is having an orgasm, and if she doesn’t do that during the whole process, don’t worry, she will get there in due time as you work together and get better. You will certainly feel like you are about to urinate at some point, don’t jump up and rush to the toilet, because you are not urinating, you are bringing out sperm into her virgina which your wife will take as much pleasure to have, as you are willing to give it. Then, you may find both of you from breathing heavily to calming down gradually, and then relaxing in each other’s arms for a while, before you start all over again, and again, and again. Congratulations.

Now it is not that hard, is it?  Welcome to the world of LOVE MAKING!

PLEASE BE INFORMED THAT FORNICATION AND ADULTERY ALWAYS REPOSITION YOU IN LIFE TO LOSE THE GRACE OF GOD, AND MAKES IT EASIER FOR SATAN TO HAVE ACCESS TO YOUR ENTIRE LIFE BRINGING ABOUT DESTRUCTION IN TINY DOSES UNTIL YOU HAVE LOST ALL THAT GOD HAS FOR YOU, STARTING WITH YOUR PEACE OF MIND.