Hi Jerome, I really need to talk to someone about my predicaments. I am a lady with a struggling story. I have been through so many relationships and each time I trust a guy, he gives me the shock of my life. I want to say that I am not really interested in talking to men anymore. I wonder why we have a great number of women who are still single, when most of these women are doing well. I guess the men want
to taste all the women they come across. I had a relationship, and we were planning our wedding and all of a sudden some lady appears from nowhere, and all my guy could say is that “it is a mistake” and it seems to him that the only way to correct the mistake is to get married to this girl, have the child and go on with his life. He later went about saying that I was too much into church, while the other girl was at his beck and call. I was shocked to later find out that he didn’t get married to her after all, and I guess he has stories to
tell about her too. You see, I am so scared relating with men now, because I don’t know what they want. Can you really help me? How can I know who is a real guy that is not looking for what I have got between my legs and off he goes when he has gone there? Age is not on my side, but I still don’t know what to do now. I believe God though, but my
major problem now is can I trust any man? Omonigho.
Dear Omonigho, Men are beginning to be very careful about and with Women too. Working as a Relationship Coach, it’s amazing to note that men are becoming more particular about what kind of female they want to date, than the females are. As a match maker, I can assure you that most of my challenges come from the men and not the women; because the men want to be sure that the ladies are as decent as I make them to be. They never want to compromise the kind of homes these ladies come from as most men are beginning for example to frown at going steady with females that come from a single parent home, because these men are of the opinion that they may not be well brought up. While I may not buy completely into that, I believe the greatest fear men have today about females is the way females sleep around. (I guess what goes around comes around). One of the reasons a man may not want to marry is because he believes he can always have sex with any lady at any time, and since one of the benefits that was once looked forward to in marriage was sex, most men feel so what else is there to go into marriage for since you can hardly find any girl or lady who is not ready to give it to her boyfriend anyway. It’s so sad that you will even hear him boast to his girlfriend who may want to be stingy with it that he can always get it outside if she does not want to co-operate. And most likely than not, he is usually very correct.
It seems for every lady who says no to sex now, there are a hundred that will say yes. It use to be fun for men before now, but believe me it is becoming a thing of concern in relationships. A thing of concern, because even after this guy has made up his mind to marry this lady, he keeps wondering if he can live with the fact that she has slept with 25 other men before him. Now this is no longer fun for a lot of men out there. I know a man who just called off his wedding ceremony, because he said he realized he just couldn’t handle it each time he thought about it. As a counselor, it got to a point of telling the ladies that they don’t have to discuss their past sex life with their boyfriends, since most men can’t handle it well. But let’s face it ladies, I believe it’s getting too much. As I sit in the counseling room, I listen to ladies tell me they have slept with about 18-26 men, and I say for what? For love? How did you get to that number? What were you really looking for? And the worst part is up till now, majority of the ladies in most of our churches are no better. But Jerome, why are you not talking to the men, why the ladies? If you have been a regular with me, you will realize that I don’t spare the men at all, but I believe on this sex issue, you females will have to really sit up, because I believe it’s getting out of hands. I believe the ladies can always say no, and because they are not, they are ending up in bed with about 26 men in their life time.
So what’s the bottom line; 2 of the many reasons that Men may not want to marry today is:
1) Men don’t want to marry because there is too much free sex around, so why keep someone in the house as wife, because you want to have sex, when so many are ready to give it to you and even pay you for it, and so many ladies are paying for love these days anyway. We keep warning them, and they keep turning the deaf hear and facing grave consequences.
2) Men don’t want to marry you especially when they hear or find out that you have slept with too many men.
Ladies, it’s my candid opinion that these sex issue will always work against you whichever way you want to look at it. I have also noticed that females are also having multiple lovers and have no problem sleeping with all of them on different occasions, which has turned some of our ladies to the best liars that one can ever think of. Is it becoming a case of what a Man can do a Woman can do better?
Ladies you don’t need this game: QUIT NOW!